Sorry…….

Hey, guys! I’m so sorry for being inactive, I just have a lot going on with school and everything. Now that school is all online now, I probably am not going to be able to post a lot. Yeah, I just wanted to let you guys know before I pretty much go on a hiatus. *AUDIBLE GASPS* yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. It’s gonna be a semihiatus, you could say, because winter is coming and you know what that means! yup, winter break. I honestly don’t know if my school has it or not. This is my first time attending real school. I have been homeschooled up until now, so we’ll see how my freshman year goes. If any of you guys have any tips on what to expect from freshman year, feel free to comment down below! I love you all of you guys, stay healthy, stay INSIDE, wear a mask, (even if you don’t want to; do it, it’s for your health!) and wash your hands! Bye!!!

Love,

Carissa 🙂

Who’s cutting onions…

ya’ll. WHO’S CUTTING THE ONIONS!!!?? I’M CRYING SO MUCH RN. I JUST WATCHED THE HEARTBEAT BTS MV AND I AM GETTING GOOSEBUMPS AND MY EYES ARE SWEATING. *takes a deep breath* Sorry, I just started playing BTS World and this song hit me right in the feels. I started crying as soon as the vocal line started singing. I really owe it to these seven boys, they are really my heartbeat. Anyways, I have to go to bed! Stay safe, and I will be taking a break in the middle of August, as we are going on a trip where there is no Wi-Fi, but it’s only for a few days. Ok, love you guys, stay safe, and see you in the next post!

Love,

Carissa ♥

Your Protectors (Hybrid BTS)

WARNINGS; MENTIONS OF VULGAR LANGUAGE AND TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF

You walked through the door, smiling as your bunny hybrid, Jungkook, bounded up excitedly to meet you. “Y/n!” he exclaimed, his bunny ears bouncing as he flew into your arms. “I missed you,” he mumbled into your neck, making you giggle. “Don’t stay away for too long next time.”

   “Kookie, I wanna hug her too, don’t hog her all to yourself,” your other fox hybrid, Taehyung, whined, his plush lips forming a pout and his ears drooping sadly. You laughed and held your arms out to him. He burrowed his nose into your neck, scenting you. You were used to it; you often had to stay for long times at your school where you taught. You would come home after being around other men and boys, “smelling like trash,” as Tae called it. After adopting both Taehyung and Jungkook, you decided to adopt five others: Namjoon, a wolf hybrid, Jin, an alpaca hybrid, Jimin, a cute calico cat hybrid, Hoseok, a golden retriever hybrid, and a panther hybrid, Yoongi. It was challenging sometimes, dealing with all of their different personalities, but you loved them all so much. Namjoon was quiet and intelligent, yet extremely clumsy. You had no idea how many items he broke in the house, yet you loved his quiet and comforting character. He was studying at a college especially for hybrids and was pursuing business and English Literature Arts. Jin loved to help you cook and clean, because everyone knew you weren’t the best cook in the house. You would often come home, tired and exhausted from a long day at work, and Jin would have tea and a fluffy blanket ready for you on the couch. He was really a sweetie. Jimin was very intimate, and he loved to cuddle with you while watching Finding Nemo on the TV. He loved singing and dancing, which he did a lot while you were away. He required a lot of attention and care. Hoseok was the ball of sunshine, always finding ways to cheer you up if you were feeling down or sad. He loved to play catch and dance, and you encouraged him to pursue his dreams. He was currently at the same school Namjoon was at, and he was studying dance. Taehyung was very like Namjoon, but goofier and sillier at times. He loved chasing squirrels and playing with his toys. Jungkook was best friends with both Tae and Jimin, and they all loved playing with each other. When you first adopted Jungkook, he was very shy and used to not talk most of the time. Once you adopted Taehyung and Jimin, he began opening up and you would often hear him laughing and talking with Tae and Jimin. Eventually, he began warming up to you, and you were on speaking terms with him now. A word that could describe Yoongi was sleepy. Of course, Yoongi loved to sleep and eat. He loved to sleep, spooned by you. He seemed like an old, grumpy grandpa on the outside, but he was just a big softie on the inside. You smiled as you thought of your seven lovable hybrids. You were so glad you adopted them.

       You set your bag down on the counter and felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist, a wet nose burying into the nape of your neck. You felt a furry tail wrapping itself around your ankle. You reached back and scratched behind Jimin’s ears. Purrs reverberated throughout the room, and you giggled. “Jimin, it’s very nice to see you too,” you smiled as he snuggled closer to you. “How was your day, darling?”

    “Fun! Me, Taetae, and Kookie played chase and tag in the backyard! Then me and Taetae watched Finding Nemo, although it wasn’t the same without you,” he pouted at the last part. “How long will you have to stay like this, jagi?”

      You sighed, sitting on the couch and beckoned him to sit next to you. “I don’t know, Minnie. I’ve been trying to find another job I can take up, but I haven’t found any yet.”

     Your other hybrids appeared, one by one, listening to you speak, and to your surprise, Yoongi appeared as well. He was usually sleeping, so this was a pleasant surprise. Namjoon sat next to you, his head leaning on your shoulder. “Well, you just have to find out what you’re good at,” he commented quietly. “It’s not too hard to find a job once you figure that out.”

    “Well, I’m good with hybrids, I know that at least,” you said slowly. “Maybe I could take up a job at a hybrid shelter.”

   Jin frowned. “I don’t know, y/n. Some hybrids tend to be,” he hesitated. “violent and well, we don’t want you getting hurt.” Your other hybrids nodded in agreement, Yoongi coming to sit next to Jimin.

     “But if you really want to, y/n, I know some shelters that are looking for help,” Yoongi offered. “Some of my friends are working there, and they say it pays well and the environment is very positive and promising for the hybrids who live there.”

    You smiled, coming over to where he sat and hugging him. “Thank you, Yoongles. I knew I can always count on you guys. What’s the shelter’s name?”

    “Um, I think it’s Sunnyside Hybrid Shelter,” Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows, trying to remember. “Yeah, I think that’s it.”

    You took a deep breath. “OK, I’m going to go ask them about the job. Who wants to go with me?”

 “Me!” seven voices chorused. You chuckled; you should’ve have known all of them wanted to go. They were all very protective of you, especially Namjoon and Yoongi, them both being predator hybrids.

         Twenty minutes later, all of you stood in front of Sunnyside Hybrid Shelter. Namjoon slipped his hand in yours, his ears standing alert. You opened the door, your hybrids following you inside.

     “Welcome to Sunnyside Hybrid Shelter! How may I help you today? Oh my goodness, you have some hybrids already! Are you here asking about the job?” the cheery girl at the front desk prattled on. You felt Namjoon’s hand tense in yours. You knew her voice reminded him of his previous owner, who was very abusive and used to beat him whenever he made a mistake or broke something. You squeezed his hand comfortingly, reminding him that he was safe and you were with him now.

     “Yes, I’m interested about the job. I would like to apply,” you spoke, nervous.

“Perfect! How long have you had experience with hybrids?” the girl asked as she scribbled something down on a notepad. “Oh, and please call me Eryka.”

     “I’ve had my hybrids for about three years now,” you replied, smiling fondly at your seven hybrids. “I love hybrids, and I’ve been looking for a job, so this seemed like a good go.”

    “Awesome! I’ll take you to our manager, and she’ll ask you a few more questions and just show you around,” Eryka smiled widely at you and led you and your hybrids to the office.

     Taehyung stared at the hybrids’ faces pressed to the windows, some cold, some hopeful, and some just plain curious. He knew how painful and lonely it was to live in the shelter, his heart ached for some of the hybrids. They passed a play room, where baby and toddler hybrids played. Jimin’s tail twitched, aching to scoop a cute baby hybrid into his arms and cuddle with it.

    “Here we are,” Eryka announced, stopping at a well-furnished office. “Would your hybrids perhaps like to wait-”

    “No,” seven voices chorused forcefully. You smiled, and whispered to Eryka, “It’s okay. They’re well behaved, they just are protective of me.” She looked unsure, but nodded and let you all in anyway.

     The manager, who looked shocked as your seven hybrids filed in, quickly composed herself and smiled at you. “Hello, y/n, I am Carrie, and please do sit down,” she gestured to a chair in front on her desk. “Your hybrids, um-”

     “We can stand, ma’am, it’s fine,” Jin smiled at her kindly. You smiled internally at his manners, Jin was a very polite hybrid once people got to know him.

 She looked surprised at his polite manners and smiled at him. “Thank you, er-”

  “Jin, Kim Seokjin,” Jin bowed and introduced himself and the others to her. Each smiled and bowed to her as he addressed them.

     “Thank you. Y/n, I must say, you have very polite hybrids. You must have some good experience with hybrids, then,” Carrie commented as she sat back in her chair.

   “Well, yes. My father was actually a hybrid officer,” you began, ignoring the shocked looks of your hybrids. “He didn’t like hybrids that well, and didn’t do his job like he should’ve. I would always beg him to be compassionate towards them, but he would beat me. My mom found out, and threatened to separate if he didn’t change his ways. He didn’t, and my mom moved out and took me with her,” you blinked back tears and Jin came to stand besides you, laying a gentle hand on your shoulder. Jimin stared at you, mouth agape. He never knew this. “He eventually got fired. I got a job at teaching at a school and I am still doing that now,” you finished, wiping your tears with a tissue from the tissue box Carrie gave you. “Sorry,” you apologized, wiping the last of your tears away. “I haven’t talked about this in a while.”

      “It’s okay, y/n. I understand how you feel,” Carrie told you gently. “I was in a similar situation. My dad-”she frowned. “He really hated hybrids and used to abuse those he brought home. I moved out of the house with my mom, who loved hybrids, and she actually helped me start this shelter.”

     “That’s nice. Yeah, I have always loved caring for hybrids, that’s why I decided to adopt my first two hybrids: Taehyung and Jungkook, then I found out how much I enjoyed their company, so I went ahead and adopted five more,” you smiled at your hybrids who crowded around you, comforting you.

   “That’s great! Now I can show you around the compound,” Carrie smiled, leading the way out of the office. “It’s good that your hybrids are here to protect you, because-”

     A savage growl escaped the throats of Namjoon and Yoongi, shocking both you and Carrie. “Namjoon, Yoongi!” you scolded them. “Please, nothing bad will happen to me. Behave, or no cuddles,” you admonished.

     They flushed sheepishly, their heads bowed. “Sorry.”

 Carrie laughed. “So that’s what you use to punish them? No cuddles?” she asked you playfully.

You laughed sheepishly. “Yeah, my hybrids love cuddling, especially Jimin and Yoongi.”

    As all of you entered the hybrid room, a cute Black Lab ran up to meet you. “Hi, I’m Jisoo. Will you please adopt me?” Her eyes widened as she saw your seven hybrids. “Oh, never mind,” she mumbled, turning away.

   “Jisoo, wait!” you called after her, hoping she would turn back and hear what you had to say. Jisoo turned back with hopeful eyes.

    “Jisoo, I can’t say I can adopt you, but I can say that I will help you find you the perfect family for you. So don’t give up hope, okay?” you smiled kindly at the shy hybrid in front of you.

    Jisoo nodded, a smile gracing her features. “Thank you, y/n!” She hugged you suddenly, making you gasp a little and then giggle. “You’re welcome, Jisoo.”

     Carrie had been watching from afar, and when you came back to the group, she whistled. “She actually hugged you, y/n! Jisoo has been one of our hardest hybrids to reach, and she has spoken the most since she’s gotten here!”

    “Glad I could help-” your sentence was cut off as a snarling hybrid stepped in your path.

  “You smell like filth,” the hybrid sneered, but Namjoon and Yoongi placed themselves in front of you, growls escaping from them. “So you’re her two little sluts, huh?” the hybrid smirked, enjoying the way your body stiffened at the word sluts. “All humans aren’t to be trusted, you know,” he snarled. “Some like her, for insistence.”

     “Not all hybrids can be trusted either,” Yoongi snarled back, his jaw exposing his sharp canines and Namjoon’s eyes turned a deep crimson red. You could feel Jimin trembling behind you. Jimin had never seen this side of Namjoon and Yoongi, and he didn’t like it. The hostile hybrid hesitated, then muttered “spoiled brats” and walked away.

    You let out a deep sigh of relief. “Wow. Thank you, Joonie and Yoongi. I didn’t expect that to happen.”

Carrie sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck. “Sorry, y/n. That was Mark, our panther hybrid. He’s very-” she paused, then added, “violent and frightening.”

      Yoongi snapped, “I knew it! He smelled like a panther!”

“I smelled it, too,” Namjoon muttered, his tail still nervously twitching back and forth. “Y/n, are you sure it’s safe for you to work here?” he asked you, worry lacing his features.

   “Don’t worry, y/n. We’ll make sure you’re safe from him,” Carrie laid a reassuring hand on your shoulder and looked back at Namjoon, then added, “I promise.”

      Once you all got home, you asked everyone to gather in the living room.

Namjoon and Yoongi sat on each side of you, the rest of the boys sitting on the floor or on the fireplace’s hearth. Jimin sensed the tension and awkwardness in the air, and sat closer to Taehyung and Jungkook. No one knew when to speak, so you cleared your throat nervously.

     “Guys, I know how much you love me,” you began. “What happened today, I’m sorry. I promise I will be careful when I start working there. But I want you guys to know that I love you all so much, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you all that stuff about my dad. I will be more careful.” As soon as you finished speaking, the boys started to cry. They all hugged you, a big ball of fluff surrounding you. You began to cry as well, overwhelmed by the love your boys were giving you.

    “We love you, y/n, don’t ever forget that,” your boys’ voice chimed together, Jimin nuzzling into your neck.

   “I love you guys so much, too,” you sobbed, smiling through your tears. You loved them all so much, your boys. Your protectors.

just to make things clear…

Hey, guys! Yes, I am back to my normal self, don’t worry. I was just feeling down last night. I am doing better now, I just got back from a road trip! It was not very long, lol, just Friday, Saturday, and Sunday morning. Anyways, just wanted to make things clear that I’m okay now. Well, for now at least. Anyways, I have to go! Bye!

-Carissa ~ ♥

i don’t know what to do… (WARNING: a depressing post)

i don’t know what to do. i thought i was getting better. life is cruel to me. i hate life sometimes, you know? i wonder why i was made all the time. i am listening to depressing music, and it’s making me even more depressed. lol, i probably shouldn’t listen to any more depressing music. *sigh* anyways, hopefully i can get through with my boys. i know that at least they care, when it feels like nobody, not even my family, cares. maybe my family does care, you know? they just have a weird way of showing it. my friends are like meh friends. they don’t really understand what depression is, cuz everything is going in tip top shape for them. i am actually listening to RM’s UN speech, and it is helping calm me down. maybe i am not a burden. maybe i am of some use. maybe i am not just a useless lump of fat. i love bts. for all those haters of bts, please reconsider your words and actions. you don’t know how much bts has helped me through my depression. whenever another episode of depression happens to me, all that helps me is listening to their music. sometimes, i just want to quit. but you know, bts is my heartbeat. literally. listening to them or watching them play video games in the latest episode of RUN BTS! helps me laugh and smile when i’m having a bad day. anyways, i have to go. it’s late. bye.

-carissa

My Favorite Summer Songs!

Hey, guys! I am recommending some songs I like to listen in the summer.

  1. Eastside (by benny blanco, Halsey, and Khalid)
  2. Without Me (by Halsey)
  3. come out and play (by billie eilish)
  4. 00:00 (by BTS)
  5. Happier (by Marshmello and Bastille)
  6. Be Kind (by Marshmello ft. Halsey)
  7. Before You Go (by Lewis Capaldi)
  8. Canada (by Lauv)
  9. Stuck With You ( by Ariana Grande ft. Justin Bieber)
  10. Make It Right (by BTS ft. Lauv Remix)
  11. I Like Me Better (by Lauv)
  12. no tears left to cry (by Ariana Grande)
  13. Don’t Leave Me Alone (by David Guetta ft. Anne-Marie)
  14. 2002 (by Anne-Marie)
  15. ****, I’m Lonely (Lauv ft. Anne-Marie)

So, yeah, those are some of the songs that give me summer vibes! Eastside, Don’t Leave Me Alone, and I Like Me Better really give them summer vibes! I hope you enjoy some of these songs, and I will see you on the next post! Until then, stay safe, stay healthy, but most of all, stay positive! Bye, and love you all! 😘

Love,

Carissa

I’m Right Here, I Will Stay By Your Side(inspired by Be Kind by Halsey and Marshmello)

WARNING: TRIGGERING DESCRIPTIONS OF INSECURITIES, SELF-HARMING, SOME TOOTH-ROTTING FLUFF, LANGUAGE< AND ANGST

You stared at yourself in the mirror, poking and prodding your belly. Is what she said is true? Am I really fat? You had just come back from a party with some of your friends, and a girl there had carelessly remarked, “Wow, I can’t imagine what it must be like being so big, y/n. It must be so hard.” You had fought back tears as you called a cab, knowing that your friends were too drunk to bring you back home. And here you were, crying and slicing your wrists with a razor. “I hate being fat. I hate my inner thighs, they touch. I hate my butt, it’s too squishy and big…” You jumped as you heard the door close. Shit, Namjoon was back. Frantically, you tried to wipe the blood from your wrists and rushed to hide the razor. Unfortunately, Joon was quick to find you.

“Babe?” Joon poked his head into the room and his eyes widened at the sight of you frozen in your tracks, blood dripping down your wrist. “Shit, y/n-” He walked towards you, but stopped when you backed away from him.

“Don’t,” you interrupted. “I’ll just leave,” you mumbled, walking away, only to run smack into Namjoon’s chest.

“Y/n, please let me help you. You’ve helped me so much, let me help you,” he pled, teary eyes staring into yours. “I know you’re choking on your fears, I already told you I’m right here. I will stay by your side every night, so baby; please tell me what’s wrong.”

That’s when your dam broke. You broke out into fresh tears again, Namjoon supporting you as you collapsed on the floor, crying.

“One girl- at the party- told me, ‘Wow, y/n, I can’t imagine what it must be like being so big, y/n. It must be so hard!'” you sobbed in between sentences. “I hate myself for being like this. I wish I was like other girls; skinny, cute, pretty, curvy, lean-” you were cut off by Namjoon giving you a kiss. You blinked; you weren’t expecting him to do that.

“Y/n, do you know why I chose you to my girlfriend?”Namjoon asked softly, caressing your cheek. He chuckled when you shook your head. “It was because I loved your laugh, your smile, your cute, squishable cheeks. I knew you were the one because of your loving character towards everyone around you. To me, y/n, outside beauty does not matter as much as the inside beauty. To me, you’re just as beautiful as the other girls, even more beautiful than them.”

“Really?” you asked in a whisper.

“Yes, really, y/n,” he answered. “Please don’t leave me, y/n. I don’t care what other people say, because you are mine. Promise me you won’t do anything like this again. Please promise?”

You looked at him. You were so lucky to have him as your boyfriend, you loved him so much that seeing him like this broke your heart. You nodded, tears blurring your vision, your lips forming the words:

“I promise.”

My Story

Hey, guys! Welcome to my blog dedicated to our seven boys aka. BTS! To understand why I love them so much, I thought it would be great if I wrote about how they helped.

To begin with, I am overweight. I am sure you are starting to understand how they helped me. Being overweight has and still is extremely hard on me. I always worry about what others think of me whenever we go out and I constantly ask my friends if they thought I was fat. They assured me I wasn’t, but I wasn’t so sure. I began shutting myself in my room longer than I should’ve, and I am ashamed to say this, but I started to purge and self-harm. Don’t worry, I don’t do it anymore, thanks to Jimin’s song, Promise. It wasn’t until I met BTS that I slowly began improving.

I became an ARMY in the summer of 2019, and I am not ashamed to say that they are literally my heartbeat. I’m not kidding, you guys. If I did not discover BTS, I would probably not be here today or just staring at a wall. They saved me from a pit hole of depression and anxiety. Seeing a therapist has helped me a lot, but BTS is also my other therapist. I just watched BTS’s commencement speech to the Class of 2020, and it made me cry. I am graduating to high school and will be going to a real school this fall. I am extremely nervous and anxious, but like our wise Jin said, “Take a deep breath. You may find that any moment can be turned into an opportunity. Allow yourself to take it easy. Take it one step at a time. You might discover the important things you were missing. And they’ll reach out to you….” This made me cry. Whenever I would feel sad or down or depressed or anxious or etc., I would remind myself that I needed to keep going because I knew there were seven people believing in me. Believing that I could love myself, that I could get over this with their help. With this quarantine, I have become socially anxious, but I am working on it. If you are feeling sad or down or even contemplating taking your own life, please don’t. Remember that there is someone out there who understands you, who understands how you feel. I saw this comment on a video on Youtube and I want to share it.

Your skin is not paper, don’t cut it❤

Your face is not a mask, don’t hide it❤

Your size is not a book, don’t judge it❤

Your life is not a movie, don’t end it❤

(Credits to owner of comment)

This comment touched me, and I agree with it wholeheartedly. My life has been difficult up till now, and I know there will be more trials and hurdles ahead, but I know I can do it. because I have them. Thank you for taking time to read this post. i appreciate it. I hope you BTS haters understand why BTS has helped me and so many other ARMYs so much. And if you still don’t like BTS, that’s totally fine with me. People have different opinions, and not everybody likes the same type of music. Anyways, all of you stay safe and healthy, and don’t forget to wash your hands frequently and wear a mask! Love you all, and see you on the next post! I am working on a fluffy story, so watch out for it!

Love,

Carissa ❤

Requests open!

Hey, guys! Sorry I haven’t been posting. I’ve been busy with schoolwork and stuff. if you guys would like, you can suggest prompts for short stories in the comments down below and I will try to post them as soon as possible. Thanks, and I love you guys! Stay safe!

Carissa ♥

My New Blog!

Hi, guys! As some of you know, I tried making a new blog for my BTS writings, but WordPress wanted me to pay so I gave up on that. I have no idea on what else to write, so I decided to make a new blog of my BTS writings. So I will be converting my current blog, One Girl, Many Journeys, to You’ll Be Okay, This Magic Shop Will Comfort You. I will do it when I have time, but otherwise, I am converting this blog into a blog dedicated to our seven boys. Thank you!

Love,

Carissa ♥